Murder on Shinra street
by Req
Summary: This is the first chapter of my first posted fic! ^_^ its about rufus Shinra who has a crazy idea (not based on Elm street btw.) but you gotta R&R to find out!


One Day on the Sea  
  
(Cloud runs into the cargopart of the Shin-Ra steamer, trying not to feel the pain of the Shin-Ra uniform cutting into his flesh, probably marking small flesh wounds in it for a couple of days)  
Cloud: Jeez, never tought that Heidegger would smell out of his mouth that bad!  
(suddenly a person in a white navy suit stumbles infront of his feet, he was obviously spying on our good 'ol Cloud!)  
Cloud: What the? Who the @#$§ are you?  
Person: uhm...ah...I...oh...uhg  
Cloud: Yuffie??? Is that you?  
Yuffie: Damn, busted...how did you know? did my stealth skills fail? did i betray my father by not practicing my rope escape lessons every day?  
Cloud: uhm,...no, its just, you use the same perfume every day...  
Yuffie: ::turning red:: uhm...heehee...well i didnt realize you know me that good!  
(Yuffie runs up to the deck, a strange green glow on her head all of a sudden)  
Cloud: strange girl she is!  
(suddenly another character in white sailor-suit runs over to Cloud)  
Person2: Hi Cloud!  
Cloud: ::draws sword:: How do you know my name?!?  
Tifa: its just me, jeez you got ants in the pants or sumn?  
Cloud: oh Tifa, sorry but im just pretty tense...  
Intercom: Our president has now entered this boat! You can all start our special presidential dance now!   
Cloud: ::falls over:: PRESIDENTIAL DANCE?  
Tifa: didnt you know Cloud? Didnt you read the new script? It says we will all be dancing for Rufus!Dont you know the dance? Oh you are so gonna get it!  
Cloud: ::mumbles:: @#$§ Writers, think they are the boss...  
Tifa: what was that?  
Cloud: oh nothing!  
Tifa: good the dance is starting anyway!  
(Suddenly two men run down the stairs carrying a rather green person)  
Cloud: Yuffie? she has all the luck! now she doesnt have to dance!  
Tifa: oh quit whining and watch me closely! its about to begin!  
(Suddenly all the lights go out, on the roof a few trapdoors are seen opening revealing something monstrous, hideous,... DISCO GLITTERBALLS! All of a sudden lights in all colors start to flash and bounce of on the Disco Balls creating a mega retro feeling!  
Cloud: ::sounding desperatly:: CRAP!  
((Ok now ill discribe how the dance went, now i dont want any complaints that you cant pull the moves in the game ok?))  
(As Cloud ran away to hide behind some crates Tifa took to dancing!)  
::View from above, all the crew is visible, remarkable facts: a big white blob somewhere in the centre and a very clumsy walker, HINT HINT::  
  
(( here is a explanation of the moves then youll have some time figuring it out, maybe trying it yourself!:  
  
X= Left foot forward  
O= Right foot backwards  
[ ]= left arm down to the left  
/_\= Right arm up to the right  
Select= Two feet do their move together  
Start= Two arms do their move together  
Up= Shake your head  
Down= Shake that booty!  
Left=Moonwalk left  
Right=Moonwalk Right  
  
There thats for the move explanation, now on to the dance!))  
  
Singer: FIRST YOU GO X, THEN GO O, SHAKE IT [ ], THEN MOVE /_\!!! NOW IF YA WANNA DANCE THEN GO LIKE THIS UH! SELECT, X, O  
NOW THAT WAS NICE PEOPLE!!! BUT FOR THE PRESIDENT YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER NOW GO START, [ ], /_\, UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT!  
THEN GOOooooooooo...........   
(The singers voice is cut back as all the dancers look up only just done with their moonwalk to see a spikey haired figure, his huge now blood-covered sword sticking in the singers dead body, blood still gushing out of it, onto the floor and sword, the eyes of the attacker glow deep red as he grabs a piece of wood and throws it at the volume knob, it hits it turning the disco music of, making the eyes of the attacker back to their regular Mako Blue color)  
Tifa: CLOUD!!!  
Big White Blob: lets go Clumsy figure!  
Clumsy figure: ok  
(The two rush up the stairs to Cloud, as they reach him Heidegger and Rufus appear at the other side of the platform they are on...)  
Heidegger: GAYAHAHAHAAAA, GUA....  
(But his voice is cut back as Rufus drew his hidden sword and slashed it straight through the fat, smelly, yelling bears belly ((^.^)))  
Cloud, Big White Blob and Clumsy Figure: What the?  
Rufus: surprised? Cloud?  
Cloud: ...  
Rufus: Red XIII?  
Red: Well not...  
Rufus: Barret Wallace?  
Barret: hell no!  
Rufus: good... i expected that of you,...  
Cloud: why did you do it? What do you want of us?  
Rufus: haha, i got perfectly good answers, I couldnt stand this guys smell, by the way CAN ANY ONE DUMP THIS BODY IN THE OCEAN PLEASE?  
Cloud: and the second question?  
Rufus: Let me finish! I want to hire you!  
(Cloud is surprised so bad he stumbles and falls over the bars of the platform, straight onto the rock-hard floor)  
Rufus: i expected you to be surprised,... but like this?  
Barret: Why?  
Red: ::gets on his four legs:: yeah?  
Rufus: I want to hire you guys to...  
(Cloud comes stumbling back up, leaning on Tifa's left shoulder, on her right shoulder leans Yuffie and behind her walks the never yet mentioned Aeris)  
Rufus: to,...  
(drumroll)  
Rufus: assassinate...  
(more drumroll)  
Rufus: M  
(the drummer hits too hard and a snapping noise is heard as he hits through his drum, followed by a loud swear wich i will not write down here to avoid people complaining about nightmares!)  
Rufus: e  
Barret: Me...linda?  
red: Me...lissa?  
Cloud: Me...tronome?  
Tifa: Me...tropolis?  
Yuffie: Me...Garinlageunebsidf?  
all together exept Yuffie and Rufus: YUFFIE!!!  
Yuffie jeez, okok!  
Aeris: Me.... as in Myself?  
All exept Rufus: WAHAHAHAHAAH!!!  
( they suddenly stop laughing as they see Rufus looking very serious)  
Cloud: why arent you laughing?  
Rufus: id say,... WE HAVE WINNER!  
(everybody looks to Rufus, mouth open)  
Barret: wazzup with you @#$§ ???  
Red: this is a strange case!  
Cloud: ...  
Yuffie: hahahaha this is sooooo funny! im starting to think it wasnt a mistake to come with you guys!  
(All look toYuffie, they look so angry that she suddenly turns green again and wisely decides to go lay down again)  
Barret: now that little friggin' pest is gone we can talk buisiness  
Yuffie: ::weak voice as if from yelling somewhere far away:: i heard that!  
Barret: whatever  
Cloud: are you serious?  
Rufus: deadly serious  
Cloud: ok  
(Cloud sighes,then draws his sword as he walks towards Rufus)  
Rufus: nonono! not like that! it has to be done when im at my mansion in Midgar! it'll look like a long planned assassination, because you guys broke in before, you will not leave any broken windows or anything!  
Yuffie: ::same voice:: did we?  
(Barret runs down, as he runs down the stairs a glimpse of light reflecting on a black roll of tape can be seen in his hand)  
Tifa: dont hurt her Barret!  
(suddenly a person dressed in the same navy suit as Tifa, Yuffie, Aeris and Red comes running by and grabs hold of Heidegger's dead body)  
Dragger: HNGNGHGGG,.....Damn  
(He runs back down and comes back with two other men with him, they start pulling at the body together, but it doesnt move)  
Dragger2: Ok lets bring on the Dozer!  
Cloud: Dozer as in Bulldozer?  
Rufus: yes, we are prepared for everything!  
(a few moments later, a loud noise is heard in the ship,thats still covered in all sorts of colors, reflecting in the disco balls, a bulldozer comes riding up the stairs ((dont ask me how)) and straight towards the body of the fat stinking bear)  
Dragger2: ok now lift it!  
(the dozer lifts the body and drives out to the deck)  
Rufus: now thats taken care off...  
(Before Rufus can finish his line, a loud splash is heard, the same splash as an airplane full of loaded trucks crashing in the ocean would probably sound like. the ship suddenly starts shaking heavy, everybody falls to the ground as the ships turns over completely, doing severe damage to the body of it, making numerous holes)  
Lots off people: OH MY GOD!!! WERE GONNA SINK! I CANT DIE THIS WAY!!!  
(as the ship starts to sink Rufus and Cloud & Co. including Yuffie run to a rowing boat concealed in Rufus' private chambers, they quickly get in because Tifa is allready screaming that she didnt want her nail polish to go off)  
  



End file.
